Before I write my last journal entry for a while, I'd like to thank everyone who took the time to listen to my story and my music for the past entry, sorry I didn't reply, I guess I didn't have the will to look back on everything but as the new year and my 18th birthday soon approaches in a matter of minutes, I feel as if all breeches of hope are fading... not to sound too dramatic but everything I had hoped for, dreamed of and expected had suddenly just been shot ten times by a shotgun and I watched standing there seeing the blood splatters. My parents have totally turned a situation around and made me feel like the wrong, they restricted me from celebrating the newyears and my birthday with my friends, the last thing I had hoped for, I was supposed to have had the best night with one of my best friends Michael, instead... I wake up to the horror of my parent's bitching and disapproval, the moment I say "Please just get out of my room" with tears running down my face due to the hurt and destruction of my emotions, Pradeep runs in with the bombshell, "If you're unhappy, there's the door and you can get of of this fucken house". I spent the afternoon, without a bite to eat and a loss of appetite in my room dreaming of what could've been...

I just thought after everything that had happened, "What did I do to really deserve this?" Sure I talked about a few people behind their backs throughout the year but I also did alot of good by helping people out, listening to their issues and even lending the dollar here and there. I just don't know, this day has felt like a nitemare... this year had ended so chaisticly, ending like the begginning, the beginning of this year they gave me horror. I don't know how much longer I can last here but as long as I have my music and poetry and stuff I can make it through the worst but this year just isn't promising to me, I'm tired to believing there is something better awaiting me because I just get pushed down by them and spat on.

If I was back at home, I knew it wouldn't have been like this, that's what really pains me and kills me the most, I don't know anymore... I just sound pathetic and helpless now, this journal of mine stored most of my climatic moments, and well this is one of them, I've never been hurt so much in my life and it was by my own parents, everything they'd done to me recently had just returned... I've tried to let it go, I don't know, I just don't know where to go.

Thanks again for those people who took the time to read my work, I don't know when I'll be back but it's been good hanging around to see all the inspirations the site offered, even if it was for a brief visit. I'll keep in touch somehow, if you want to hear from me just add me on msn through my hotmail. inblue13@hotmail.com

This is goodbye for now, I'm out of hope so I've just got patience left which is also wearing thin. Take care all of you and have a happy new year, because I know it's something I've lost.

~Prince